Never Cross The Idiot Threshold

Since we're back in Arizona I'm including this nifty road runner drawing I did. I hope you approve.

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm sure I'm not playing with a short deck. All the cards are there. All the gears are present, but sometimes, just sometimes, I fall into a strange vortex where I begin to wonder if my sanity will stay intact.

In case you've been wondering what I've been up to in the last couple of weeks, I've not been arrested or been committed for inpatient treatment for loose cogs or missing cards.

I've:

• Stripped and painted a porch
• Demolished an old door frame
• Reframed the old door
• Installed a new front door
• Installed a new screen door
• Installed two new ceiling fans
• Fixed a garage door, and 
• Trimmed hedges to make them Stepford Community Compliant
  (see: Stepford Wives 2004)

 If I start doing much more construction, I'll have to join a union and pay dues. 

All this activity has afforded me the pleasure of haunting the aisles of both Lowes and Home Depot.

I've got to hand it to both of them. Veteran discounts and Veteran parking spots etc. Normally, the services are pretty good. Normally, I walk away with a good feeling. 

Then, for an encore, I decided the water softener and under sink water filtration system needed to be replaced. 

The under sink water filtration unit is easy. I'm positive I can do that myself. The water softener, not so much. There are soldering and piping and very complex stuff involved. For me, dealing fire and cutting things like knives or saws, are skills I have chosen not to master. 

We don't want Scott involved with sharp burning things when his anxiety level crosses the idiot threshold. 

For example, last night while we were watching television the sound suddenly disappeared. This has been an ongoing problem since we got back to Arizona. I'd had it, it was time to figure this out.

So Andrea and I stared at the television. We scratched our heads. After reviewing all of the settings with still no results, we rebooted the whole system. After the system reboot, we had to log back into Roku, log back into Amazon, log back into the WiFi, and jump through several hoops I didn't know were there. After everything was reinstalled and we had followed the directions to a "T" the sound was still off. 

I said I was frustrated. I said, "I'd like to step away from the television at this point because my level of frustration has just exceeded the limits of my tolerance." Actually, I said, "Fuck it, I give up!" And I walked away. 

This was a very good move on my part since, if you're dealing with delicate and expensive electronics you don't want to accidentally throw a hammer through the screen by mistake or anything. 

So, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was doing the proper thing. I was proud of myself for stepping away for the problem for a few moments.

While I was patting myself on the back I went back to the task of preparing dinner. Salad Niçoise, yum. 

Andrea had opened a can of tuna and it was sitting on the counter. I picked it up and put the tuna in the salad. Things were going swimmingly. I was quite smug. 

I went to wash out the can to put it in the recycling bin. What a good citizen I am - helping to save the planet and such. 

I ran my finger around the inside of the can to clean it out. 

Did you know those buggers are really sharp? I think I cut my finger down to the bone. (not really, I'm just a big sissy and I'm exaggerating.) Well, as with everything that I do, blood was getting everywhere. 

Then, I knew it was coming. I knew I was going to get it. There it was, right on Andrea's face. She gave me that look of disapproval, disbelief, and a complete lack of surprise. She trundled off, "I'll get the plasters (band-aids)."

A momentary loss in concentration. I'm really glad I wasn't trying to text and drive at the same time. 

Anyway, back to the television. The sound came back on its own. We really did nothing. It just appeared, poof! That was almost more frustrating. 

Later, Andrea discovered a setting buried way down in the user's manual the way all good answers are. Her perseverance, research, and patience trumped my bullocks, bluster, and bravado. Damn, again. 

So, now I'm all bandaged up and ready to attack Lowes and Home Depot once again. “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.” Henry V, Bill Shakespeare.

BTW - I'm having somebody else install the water softener. See, I'm learning. 
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Until next week, I wish you peace.