Flying's A Real Pain

Traveling is just not fun. I don't mind being in the places I go but the traveling is just horrendous.

This time my flight left at 1:10 am.  I'm usually inspecting the insides of my eyelids about that time not getting ready for boarding.

I’ve found being prepared for the flight can make the whole experience less horrible. 

This time - No big suitcases for me.  I set off with only a carry-on and no checked bag. 

Okay - important... Organize Carry On... 

• Laptops/iPad/iPhone are on the top of the pile - Check
• Headset Charged and Easily Accessible - Check
• iPad Charged - Check
• iPhone Charged - Check
• Prepare Reading material - Check
• Movies Downloaded - Check
• Podcast Downloaded - Check
• Wallet - Check 
• Passport - Check
• Glasses - Check
• Sunglasses - Check
• Boarding Passes - Check 
• Keys - Check
• Lock Door - Check 
• Take Tylenol to preempt an inevitable headache from the controlled pressurized atmosphere - Check 

I was all set for the flight. All I had to do was point myself in the direction of the airport and engage propulsion. SuperShuttle to the rescue. 

I wish somebody could explain the airline boarding system.  Apparently, there's now a Group 9 on American Airlines. Group 9?! By that time all the space in the over-heads and under-seats must be taken up with chickens, turkeys and carrier pigeons.  I was lucky to be in Group 5 because this plane was packed to the gunnels. God knows I was grateful not to be in Group 9. It's all so confusing.

Usually, after I sit down on the plane I try to keep my head down. I don't want to stare at the throng/thongs of backsides & elbows jostling for seats and storage space. 

This flight was a bit different. 

I was trying to keep my head down - really I was. I couldn’t help notice the "Children Of The Corn" romping down the aisle.  I braced myself because every single one of those ankle-biters was coughing and snorting and touching everything they passed.  They were touching everybody!

I’m not terribly paranoid normally.

I’ve eaten enough dirt and filth in my life to have a pretty healthy immune system.  Nevertheless, there’s no need to tempt fortune by being exposed to some deadly virus in a sardine can hurtling through the atmosphere.

Isn’t that how those disaster/zombie movies always start? They all start on a plane where unwittingly patient zero gets infected by some mutant zombie virus. Hold it - Maybe I'm patient zero.  Noooooo!

This time though, I pleaded the universe to keep the little germ factories away.

Please, God, Help Me!

I stared down the first of Satan's spawn with daggers coming out of my eyes emphatically pleading - "Don't touch me"!   It must have worked.  At the last second, the little beggar grabbed momma's coat-tail.  He passed me by sucking his thumb.  His gangly limbs were firmly wrapped in his own little personal space.

Then zombie apocalypse candidate number two came coughing and snorting and sneezing down the aisle. The little germ-ball was touching EVERY SINGLE SEAT with his tiny nasty fingers.

Mother was oblivious to what was going on. She paid no attention at all until, just as the heavens parted for Elija, like a whirlwind, she swooped the kid into her arms as they approached my seat.

Whew! - Number two avoided.

The last little rug rat was at least three rows ahead of me. Lucky me three times - this really is a great day. 

Number three down.  I'm Free!

Just then - A God Send!  

I noticed the seat beside me hadn't been taken. I unconsciously caught myself chanting under my breath: "please leave that seat open, please leave that seat open… "

But it happened just as the doors were about to close. Somebody plopped down next to me. It just wasn't meant to be. No open seat next to Scotty Boy. I guess the miracles I experience only extended to zombie virus avoidance. 

I didn’t get a certificate from my seatmate but he looked healthy enough.  Actually, he seemed to be a nice guy.  We exchanged pleasantries and started to go about our own business. I stared at my iPad - and him - I don’t think we'd even started to taxi and he was asleep. I envied him. 

I'm grateful the universe loved me today.

The four and a half hours to Miami seemed to go by in a flash and my flight to St Thomas was also uneventful.  It's been about a week now and I haven't manifested any sign of sickness. No zombie apocalypse virus this time. 

A big thank you to whoever was smiling on me.   

Today's little drawing is one that reminds me of St Thomas. Iguanas are all over the place here, even after the hurricane but that's a story for another week, maybe even next week 

Until then - I wish you peace. 

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