I've been thinking about Christmas lately, specifically, how my Christmas Spirit overwhelms that part of me that governs common sense.
I do love Christmas, but sometimes I do it up a bit too much.
Here are some of the overindulgences I hope to curb this year.
Lots of times, I end up walking away from Christmas dinner needing a massive dose of antacid, a three-notch belt extension, and a wheelbarrow. Okay - maybe a forklift.
It's the middle of the night. Visions of sugarplums are dancing in my head. The refrigerator's calling my name. I try to quiet the beast in my head, but the darn thing keeps shouting, "There's turkey down here, there are potatoes too, stuffing anyone!? You know you want it. Come and get it!"
I can feel the last hit of Zantac starting to kick in. Do I give in? Do I say, "Ah heck, it's Christmastime nobody cares? It's the middle of the night, nobody will know."
No overeating for me this year. I've been working on injecting some common sense into the concrete between my ears. I'll only eat what I am comfortable eating. I can always save some until tomorrow. I love food.
I'm sure, if you know me, you know I've often been guilty of this. Though, recently I've been able to scale back. I've avoided most of the ill effects by pacing myself.
Do any of us know how many hangovers we have left?
Imagine if you only get a certain number of hangovers in your life. After that, you join the queue at the Pearly Gates. Old St Pete takes a glance and sends you to rehab purgatory before you can breach those sublime everlasting gates.
I want to put that whole Pearly Gate thing off as long as possible. Like the song says,
"Everybody wants to go to heaven
Get their wings and fly around
Everybody wants to go to heaven
But nobody wants to go now."
That, and nobody wants to be the guy that does that embarrassing thing people will remember forever. No lampshades or togas for me. No Sir.
I now realize there are camera phones. If you've never watched yourself doing a drunken rant, I'd recommend it.
It sobers you up quickly.
The reason I end up oversleeping is that I'm up until all hours overdrinking and overeating. I don't know when to call it quits.
It's like some demonic Energizer Bunny gets hold of me. I keep going and going and going.
I've found if I avoid the first to OVERS (drinking and eating), sleep comes a bit more naturally. I'm not tossing and turning all night, then staying in bed too late.
I used to have a hardier constitution. I used to be able to go to bed late and get up early. I can't now, and it's disappointing.
I have to try to manage it I suppose. I do have Tylenol PM and Melatonin. They work wonders for me.
Yes - We've already done it. The old calendar gets full during this time of year.
We make plans to do this thing and that. It's just such a great time of year. There are parties and meet-ups and well - parties. We want to do the carols, we want to do the parties, and we want to visit with friends.
It's so hard to hold back. Maybe next year we can scale back a bit.
I suppose you just have to plan downtime. I'm trying to get better. Really, I am.
Yeah - Right.
If you tend to do a few OVERS during this time of year, maybe this reminder will help you keep your eye on the ball.
It's like GI Joe says, "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle."
As for me, I'll be doing what I can. I'll enjoy a walk, a fire, and some good friends. That's something I can look forward. The rest is just gravy.
Hmmmm ... Guinness Gravy!
STOP IT SCOTT!
JUST FREAKING STOP IT!
For those of us waiting for the big guy to come down the chimney and leave a little piece of wonderment beneath the tree, You know, that special something you've always wanted, but never told anyone, I hope you get it this year.
If you have another tradition, I wish you many blessings as well.
No matter how you spend your time this holiday season,
Until next week, I wish you peace.